Mark your calendars...

‘Tapers, your months have been assigned! Earlier this morning, I threw some names in a cowboy hat, had a half-asleep Nicole draw them at random, counted the number of letters you had in your names, then did some MASH-style month randomization with the 2005 edition of a The OC calendar (thanks Jason!). Here are the results (description of the photo accompanying your month in parentheses):

January: Victor Nguyen (Fresh-out-of-juvie Ryan looking tough in the Cohen’s backyard, his hand partially down his pants)
February: Heather Holverstott (Marissa, looking off into the distance as a mysterious blurry figure looms in the background)
March: Dave Wohrman (Summer and Seth at an unseen craps table, the former offering the latter a chance to blow on the former’s dice for luck)
April: Bill Nordwall (The OC kids are on a couch, trying to look casual to varying degees of success. In particular, Summer appears to be slightly constipated)
May: Suzanne Asprea (A medium shot of Summer on the aforementioned couch, either giving us her best come-hither look, or maybe she’s still constipated )
June: Julie Brewer (A portrait of OC jock Luke, originator of the term, “Welcome to the OC bitch!”)
July: Karryce Burger (Another group shot — Ryan, Marissa, Sandy, and Sandy’s powerful eyebrows)
August: Brian Hyder (The OC kids have eschewed the couch for the floor now, and it appears that at least one of them is up to no good, based on the way Summer is resting her hand on Marissa’s leg)
September: Grace Kang (Marissa mid-laugh, perhaps reminiscing about the time her father was punched out by an angry investor at her cotillion)
October: Jason Van Regenmorter (Sandy and his eyebrows make their second appearance in the calendar — this time they’re straightening Ryan’s tie)
November: Dave Miller (Ryan — actually not looking like a wounded puppy dog this time — admiringly gazes at Marissa while she forces a get-the-fuck-away-from-me smile)
December: Sara Hankins (A group shot of the entire cast, welcoming us to the OC, bitch)

So there you have it ‘tapers. Ready, set, mix!